The Perfect Christmas

I will post pics soon, promise :)

We had the most wonderful time this holiday! We hosted my Dad's family for Christmas Eve this year. I was tuckered out from working til 11 the night before and that day, plus Izaiah and I were sick, but it was fun anyways. Rosa-Mae showed up and surprised us all except for Dad. We were sooo excited!!!! It was so special to have us ALL here around the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. Me, Mark, Izaiah, Mom, Dad, Jonathan, Hannah, David, Grandma, Grandpa, Rosa-Mae and Carlos. It was one of the most perfect 24 hours :)

Izaiah was spoiled ROTTEN with toys...a new scooter, bike, workshop, costumes, games, shoes, clothes, Cardinal jersey, etc. etc. etc. We try so hard not to spoil him with material things, but it is so hard! Especially after all he has been through. I think he would have been just as happy having all his family around him. He loves everyone and is so attached to everyone. I could not be happier :)

My adorable husband got me a GPS and tempurpedic pillows! He is so sweet :) Hannah gave us a free night of babysitting and a gift card to the Drunken Fish. I can't wait! We are so blessed beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. I truly believe that many times it takes us going through something agonizingly painful in order to appreciate the true blessings in your life. In that way, I am thankful for the painful times. I am thankful that God meets me where I am at and does not demand perfection out of me.

Thanks Mom for cooking and cleaning while I was sick! I wish I had taken more pictures. Every year I say that, every year.

Hi ho, Hi ho

I have been feeling so busy and so overwhelmed since I started my new job. It's a lot of late hours, and I've been really resentful of missing a single moment with Izaiah in the evening on account of work. I haven't felt like I've been able to be there for my friends or my family in the way that I want to be, and all my ideas and plans for ministry and loving people get pushed aside for lack of time and sheer exhaustion. The more time that goes by, the more frustrated I become. If I had it my way, I would be staying at home with Izaiah. No more work, is what I keep wishing for.

The other day as I was driving home, I began talking to God about all of this and how frustrated I am. "I don't have any time for the things you've wanted me to do. I'm stuck at work too much. I don't have any time," were things I was saying to Him. Silly me. God butted in and spoke some things to my heart that made me feel really dumb. I'm so "busy" at my job that I'm "not doing His work" and "not getting to love the people who need me most". What do I think I'm doing at my job all day? What am I there for? I have more opportunities than anyone out there to love people and help people, and I have a huge impact on their lives, good or bad. What am I doing, asking God to put people in my life that need me, asking him to make me less busy so I can have time to do that?!

I've compartmentalized my life pretty well, and it never occurred to me that it doesn't have to be that way. I can love and help people all week long and still make money. I can be a good mommy to my baby and still work. I can immerse myself in "work" and not feel the pressure to leave it at the office. I don't have to separate work, God, friends, family, ministry, and fun into different categories. It is fine to overlap them. My job can be my ministry, and it SHOULD be! Ministry is loving the unloveable, denying myself, and seeing things as God sees them. In my daily rush, I have overlooked all the obvious people that God has placed in my life. I can be the best social worker, but I have to step out of the 40-hour workweek rat race mindset that Satan has tried to make me feel trapped into. I understand about boundaries, but I feel set free from the pressure I had to create more of them. It's hard to explain, but I feel freedom in a lot of ways, now that I have finally given my frustrations with this to God and He has set me straight.

ANYWAY

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.