The One About Being a Parent

We were finally able to get Izaih a visit with a psychologist. Thank you, Aaron! The assessment itself told us nothing we didn't already know, but hopefully it will help us get in to see a psychiatrist. As I sat there listening to the psychologist list off all the things Izaih will likely be diagnosed with throughout his childhood and adolescense, I began to feel discouraged. We have been very adament about not having him diagnosed because
a.)personally, we do not want him labeled and
b.)professionally, I think it is harmful, usually inaccurate, and tends to create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
As we were driving home, I was all of a sudden filled with God's presence, and He really gave me the peace of mind of knowing that Izaih does not have to "be" these diagnoses. He is not doomed. He is not damaged beyond repair. We are here to love him despite whatever challenges he will face, but more importantly, we believe in him and will take an active role in making sure he is raised with character, love (x a million), advocacy, faith, rules, structure, knowledge, honesty, compassion, patience, and all the great things, both hard and wonderful, that encompass life. Love is a dead word without the actions to back it up. I have faith that what most see as his inevitable personality and "doom" does not have to be who he becomes in life.

The doctor and I were discussing the nature vs. nurture debate, and here is one thing we discussed: Why many adopted kids all of a sudden "change" in their teens and become "like their biological parents". Well, why do just as many non-adopted youth become the same way? You can argue the research back and forth, but I think that aside from the hardships of being an adopted youth, the answer is really simple. When you raise a child assuming and accepting they will be "nothing" coupled with not providing them with the structure, rules, self-confidence, character development, and safety (etc. etc. etc...) that all kids need, you cripple them and severely harm them. Self-fulfilling prophecy is one of the only absolute truths I have come to accept in this life. Can I get an amen from all the social workers and educated individuals out there?! Lol

Here's to all the children out there - adopted or not - whose parents have "failed" them and refused to parent them in a way that proves their unconditional love, and keeps them safe and secure. May we all as a society learn to take responsibility for that, remove our rose-colored glasses, and learn to quit letting abused and neglected children suffer in agonizing and helpless silence. Please hold Mark and I accountable ALWAYS in raising Izaih in a way that would be both pleasing to God and not just a half-ass job.

"The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children."
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer