I'm still crying every day. Some days it will be 10:30 at night and I think, 'I haven't cried today! I'm getting adjusted.' And then I get on facebook and see the picture of my dad with us on my sister's facebook wall and lose it. A few days ago Izaiah begged to go see where Dad was buried when we go to Arkansas. He asked to dig it up so he could lay there with him and cry. Until then I had never envisioned going to his grave site. The thought caught me off guard and sent a wave of longing through me. He was buried close to my grandparents' farm and my family's property. In recent years we didn't go there much together, but I can't remember a ride down to the country when my dad didn't drive. You know the story in the Bible about the horrible storm while Jesus and the disciples were at sea? Jesus slept right through it like it was nothing, and they had to wake Him up and beg Him to save them. I have never had a hard time understanding that story. My dad drove wherever we went, and there wasn't a safer place in the world to be as long as he was in that driver's seat. I'm sure to some it might seem like such a silly thing but to me it feels like I will never have that innate sense of complete security ever again. I've lost so much sense of safety with him no longer in this world.
I realized a new layer today of just how much of my identity has always been tied directly to my dad. I was Jeff Woods' daughter. Everywhere I went, everyone knew my dad and loved my dad. I LOVED to tell people he was my dad. It was instant acceptance, instant trust and respect. Aside from "wise", "caring", and "humble", when I think of my dad often a quote comes to mind. I think you will likely agree that this quote could easily have been made with him in mind.
"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
