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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Oh Life, How I Love You

Me and the hottest man around

Weirdos

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and sweet. Met with doctors yesterday to discuss treatment. Had to do the yucky MRI, EKG, and get lots of bloodwork done, but everything looks good, they say. I was so tired and went to bed at 6:00 last night...I think that's a record!! Izaih crawled in bed with me and loved on me for a while. He said, "Mommy, you're my best girl." He is such a precious little angel! I have to stay in the hospital for several nights in the next few weeks, and will be having several biopsies done. Booo:( I'm thinking about taking up meditation. Like the serious kind. But seriously, I am FINE. FIIIIIIIIIIINNNNE. I am excited about the whole thing, I really am! I'm going to be in the gym 6 times a week, heck YES!!!!! Time to get healthy!!!!! No more fear, no more walls....I'm back and I'm feistier than ever!!! So BRING IT!!!!

ANNNND enough about that. We had a GREAT weekend and just got to have fun with friends and forget everything, which was nice. Izaih has had a bad toothache since Sunday, poor baby. His dentist has not been in this week and would not see him, so we took him to a clinic yesterday. He has been up every night just crying and crying and crying. He cries and cries for Daddy and it is so sweet, albeit so very pitiful! He is definitely a Daddy's boy. He won't let me put Orajel on him because he hates how it numbs his sweet little tongue. :( The clinic says his tooth is abscessed and has to come out immediately. His other front tooth was abscessed and pulled before he came to us, so now he's going to have 2 missing front teeth! Hopefully we can find someone to take it out today so he doesn't have to miss out on all the Halloween festivites this weekend.

Let's see...what other news is there? I spent $13 at Kmart on over $100 worth of stuff. I would have only spent $2, but I messed up with the coupons. It's all very tricky. I've made about $100 this month getting free stuff. I probably got about $400-$500 in free loot also. I need to start keeping count, but I am horrible at math and it is all very complicated to me. The cashiers at my closest Walgreens think my "game" is hilarious. They love to gather around and see how many transactions I will make and how much I will save each time I come into the store. I love being able to donate everything; giving is what gives me meaning in life. I think I will start giving it to the domestic violence agencies/shelters. Talk about an underserved population! Give me another day to rant about that, I have to take Izaih to the dentist now.

BEFORE the tooth is pulled

The Sweetest Little Face You Ever Saw


Monday, October 20, 2008

For those who've heard the rumor....

I didn't want to make a big broadcast via blogger, but I'm so very tired and am in desperate need of sleep. Yes, it is true about my "medical condition". HOWEVER, we are fine and I am coping. All is good. I had my first official freak-out today and I have told myself that I WILL get over it before I wake up in the morning. No big deal. Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, concerns, phone calls, etc. etc. etc. I don't really want to blast all the info out there for just anyone to read, but I will get back with each one of you...PROMISE!!:) I just need time to digest it all myself. I'm also feeling kind of private about it...yes, that's a first! I meet with the team of doctors next week to discuss treatment, and from then on it will all be fine. In a lot of ways, the diagnosis is truly a good thing. I love life!!!!! Even all the crap that comes with it :) Sorry for being vague...most of you already know anyways. Kisses to everyone!

Friday, October 17, 2008

God's Politics



We all went to the Blues game last night. It was much more fun than I thought it would be. Izaih kept yelling, "GO blue ones!!!" So cute:)

I'm loving my job! Can I even call it a job? It's too much fun!

The presidential election is eating away at us right now. For the first time during an election, I am actually really educated, and it makes me crazy. I wish I wasn't. Ignorance is bliss, it truly is. I don't find that being a Social Worker and a Christian makes me feel torn between the two parties like I've been told by others. It just makes me ashamed at those who have no sense of compassion or empathy and truly believe our country should operate under the dog-eat-dog form of government. Call me a socialist, but I just don't understand how someone with millions of dollars would even NOTICE a few thousand of those dollars missing to help the suffering have a chance to actually MAKE IT in life. I have a feeling I might know what Jesus would have to say about that. And when did God decide that the U.S. is a "city on a hill"??? I believe that phrase was directed towards Christians way back in the day. And I gotta say, we are looking more like bullies than loving, compassionate, Christlike peacemakers. BOOO on the U.S. I'm moving to Canada.









Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Growing up so fast

Izaih with Auntie Kristen and Katie @ the game last weekend
Mark was sick yesterday, so I was explaining to Izaih, while on the way home, that we would need to let Mark rest. Izaih yelled, "NOO!!!!!! I don't WANT to leave him alone!!!!!!" in his super angry tone. Then he very sweetly added, "I want to go love on him." Ahhh:)

Every day he asks if he can be a grown-up yet, and every day he gets very frustrated when I tell him, "not yet". He is VERY adament that he is NOT a kid, and that he can TOO be a grown-up!! It doesn't matter how much we try to convince him that it's so much funner being a kid, he insists that we are lying:) Don't most kids normally enter this stage around age 12???

He has also entered the 4-year-old stage of asking "why?" after every single thing we say. I love that he is so eager to learn. He is such a little doll!!

Mark and I visited some schools we're looking at putting him in for Kindergarten. So far we're not totally sure, but are thinking a Performing Arts School might be a great outlet for him. He has so much natural talent, and I think he would really thrive in that artsy type of environment.
One of the schools we really liked was PreK-2nd grade, but would you believe they have an ISS room there?!?! What in the world?! Big turnoff.

By the way, I think I mentioned in a previous post about the thaumaturge randomly telling a friend that Izaih has a certain, totally random, medical condition (he's never even met Izaih, and neither has the friend). We took Izaih to get it checked out, and - WHATAYA KNOW - he was right!! Umm, CRAZY! And so stinkin hilarious!!! Bad news is he may have to have surgery:(

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Thanksgiving (a month and a half early)


We are LOVING the weather lately; it is so GLORIOUS! It puts me in a such a great mood! Sometimes I just have to pinch myself. I have the most amazing life partner, little boy, family, friends, and .... LIFE! I hate to sound sappy, but it brings tears to my eyes when I think of all the ways God has truly blessed us. When I think back to the past few years and what it has been like, I am agonizingly reminded of the horror and pain of it all. I never would have dreamed of being in the place I am in now, let alone happy in it. My God has given me more strength than I thought possible, and has delivered me when it was just too much. He has truly turned my ashes into beauty, and I no longer live with the fear and shame that so devastatingly consumed me for so long. I am no longer silenced, nor am I consumed with anger for those who tried to keep me that way. Mark and I have been released of the oppression of religion and of those who wished to bring us harm. Once again, Satan's attempts at destroying us have made us stronger in our love for each other and stronger in our faith. God continues to show himself to us through the sweet faces of the children we work with, our neighbors, the homeless people we encounter almost daily, the endless support and encouragement of countless people in our lives, the vigilant efforts of those around us who work towards love and social justice, and even something as simple as a song or smile.

Then there is Izaih. The way he has changed since being with us has been nothing short of a miracle. You will often find us frustrated and frazzled, but during the quiet moments we are reminded of God's great love for him; plans to take care of him and restore what was taken from him. The fight between good and evil is very much a reality for him, and one that he no doubt fights ceaselessly. His sweet smile and "I love you" are enough to melt me into a pool of joy and contentedness. The fact that he has attached to us at all and let us into his sweet, fragile little heart is proof enough to me of God's love for all three of us. Looking back, we see where Satan tried so hard to sabotage us and Izaih's life together. It is humbling to realize that nothing we could have done, but only God could take so many fears, losses, and failures to prepare us to be the people He would use in Izaih's life. I am awed and forever grateful for Him allowing it to be us.

I love this hottie right here!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Not Again

The car got broken into last night. Booooo:( They got away with our GPS. I hope they like it - I sure did!! They got our neighbor's car, too. They must be really good at what they do because I had our windows open, I sleep against the window, and I never heard a thing! Our alarms didn't even go off!! This makes the second time this year. Oh well. This gives me a great excuse to roll the windows down; it's beautiful outside!!! I love Fall!!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

YAY for weekends!!!!

Wasn't the debate awesome?! Palin charmed the pants off America, but could she answer a single question? NOPE. And Biden did such a great job of defending his position in an honest, respectful way. I was so afraid the conservatives were going to try to make him out to be a chauvinist just because he did better than Palin. Poor McCain...he seems like such a sweet man, trying to do the right thing. If Palin didn't lie so much I would probably really like her, too. So what if she tried to fire her brother-in-law? I mean, if he really was driving drunk and abusing his children, she kind of has a basis to. It's when she tries to lie about it, cover it up, and act all shady that makes me lose respect for her. I know she's just trying to protect herself, but that shows a complete lack of integrity. Plus she's lied about all sorts of other stuff. Come ON! ANYONE left around here with integrity PLEASE stand up!!!!!!!! lol

The mean mom who yelled at me got in trouble. Her child had to be moved to another classroom and the mom got put on probation. The school has no tolerance for disrespect from anyone, apparently. I didn't even have to do anything. Izaih's teacher talked to the director about it, and the director called me. I feel really bad for her little girl that she has to suffer for her mom's actions. Izaih shouldn't have hit her, either, and he definitely got consequences for it. Ugh, I hate being at odds with people.

Busy weekend. Dinner with friends tonight, party after that, work tomorrow, and then dinner with friends after that. One of our best friends is in town for the weekend with his amazing fiance. We LOVE her!! Almost more than him, hehe, Bryan, don't get mad ;) Plus one of my besties is in town for almost an entire week!! I am elated!!!! I miss her soooooo much, even though we talk all the time. YAY for weekends!!!!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Barstool Economics

We are holed up in the house due to the Presidential Debates going on practically in our backyard. We can't really go anywhere. Everywhere around us is blocked off! I can't wait to watch tonight!! GO BIDEN!!!! I am partially watching for entertainment purposes, if I'm going to be honest. I can't wait to see Sarah Palin squirm, and am anticipating some comical moments!!

My friend, Alaina, has written something GENIUS pertaining to the United States tax situation that is a must read! She perfectly sums up what so many of us have tried 100 ways to say. It's long, but TOTALLY worth your time......

If only our Politicians could speak in terms the average citizen could understand.


Our Tax System Explained: Bar Stool Economics

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.

The fifth would pay $1.

The sixth would pay $3.

The seventh would pay $7.

The eighth would pay $12.

The ninth would pay $18.

The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.


So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed
quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

'Since you are all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.' Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his
Fair share? They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should
pay.

And
so:


The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).

The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).

The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, but he got $10!'

'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man.

'I only saved a
dollar, TOO. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I got.'
'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man.

'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!'

'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time
To pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!


And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being
wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact,they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.


David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia

For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.


MY RESPONSE:
Hmmm... I think that this would make perfect sense if we got beer for our tax dollars. However, that's not what our taxes pay for. We pay for things that are WAY more important than beer. We use taxes to pay for the military, healthcare, social security, parks, education, etc. And this example misses the disparities that exist in this system. Just a few examples:

I know a teenager who needed residential mental health treatment. The closest place who would take their military benefits to get treatment is five hours away. That is actually a better situation that the first four people would be in. The situation of the fifth, sixth, and seventh would probably have two options. Option 1: a closer treatment facility (where they can visit their child in the residential facility – very important to their success upon release) where the child would not be allowed to stay for long enough to get effective treatment. Option 2: a facility farther away (where they would rarely be able to visit) where they would stay longer – possibly even long enough to have some real success. The eighth, ninth, and tenth people would all have the finances to actually pay for a place that would be close enough where they could visit (and work on the family problems that contributed to the child being in residential) AND the child would be able to stay long enough for effective treatment. This is an example of individual disparity.

Yes, the poorest people get Medicaid and the oldest get Medicare. Medicare seems to be working out pretty well, but Medicaid does not. I know a lot of people who have children with special needs and cannot find a dentist that will accept Medicaid anywhere nearby. I've heard of people driving three hours away to go to the dentist. Which, with gas being so expensive, is very hard to do. Sometimes this comes out of food money. Sometimes people have to borrow it from family or friends. This is the situation that the first four people are in. The next level of people are ones that work but may or may not get benefits like healthcare. They go to the emergency room for things like the flu because they cannot afford health insurance. If you are poor in the U.S., you will receive the 16th best healthcare in the world (behind all of the other top nations). If you are wealthy, you will receive the best. This is the difference between life and death, because the less wealthy do not receive preventative treatment, and the people with no health insurance are merely STABILIZED, NOT NECESSARILY TREATED before being sent out of the hospital. Hospitals in poorer areas have less patients who have health insurance, so they are worried about cutting costs. They have a choice between treating all of their patients as well as possible (which would cause them to go broke and shut down) or help some of them less than others (in order to meet costs). This is a systemic problem for those in poor areas that the rest of us don’t have to deal with. We just have to pay for it. And believe me, health care providers resent having to make this choice – they took an oath to save lives and want to be able to do it.

Another perfect example of why the beer analogy is just false: their living environment. The first four people would probably be living in a poor neighborhood. These neighborhoods are usually far more dangerous and do not have strong police forces to keep crime under control. Since a lot of education funding comes from local taxes, the students in the poor neighborhoods are also attending schools that are more dangerous, have less resources, and newer and inexperienced teachers. Poorer neighborhoods also have more traumatized kids because of all the violence and crime they have lived through and witnessed. They often have anger management problems and their anger can be triggered by anything. They are also much less likely to receive counseling for their problems because they have to rely on free programs (which have very long wait lists because of a lack of funding).

The people with more money (who can afford to pay more beer in the analogy) can pay for a better house, a better neighborhood, and a better school. And they do.

I give these examples to make several points. This analogy – while maybe accurate on paper – has no bearing on reality whatsoever.

1. There is no way to compare the quality of life to beer like the tax analogy does. Beer is optional, but taxes help pay for the necessities of life.

2. There is no way that person #1 would be going to the same bar as person #10. Person #10 would be going to a very nice, clean, safe bar which would charge higher prices. Person #5 would probably be waiting on them, and person #1 would be in the unemployment line (sometimes because person #10 just sent their job overseas to increase profits).

3. Person #10 is probably the owner of a company or very prominent. He or she could raise the salaries of the people working there which would eliminate a lot of this disparity from the bottom up.

4. Everyone deserves to be paid a living wage. And if they were, they could afford to contribute more to society.

5. If CEOs ruin their companies through bad decision making, they leave with millions of dollars in severance pay because they had good lawyers to write it into their contracts. Anyone else would be fired with no severance package.

6. If wealthy people make huge amounts of money and then publicly oppose raising the minimum wage to $6 or $7 an hour for their employees (a living wage is estimated to be somewhere around $14 an hour although that varies by location), then I say they SHOULD leave our country. There are literally tens of thousands of Wal-Mart employees alone who are receiving public aid, Medicaid, and food stamps because their salaries are so low that they still qualify. And where does the money to support them come from? The rest of us.

7. As someone making above minimum wage but below a living wage, I have no pity for wealthier people paying higher taxes. Raise my pay, I will pay more taxes, and yours can be lowered. Until then, stop complaining.

8. Also, the wealthiest people do not pay as much taxes as the people working under them. Hear what Warren Buffet has to say about this – he compares his own taxes to his employees. He has offered $1 million for charity for every major CEO that could show that they pay a higher percentage of taxes than their secretaries, and there have been no takers so far. So actually, using the bar example, the richest person would probably really be #9, and #10 would be his/her secretary. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu5B-2LoC4s

9. The income gap between the rich and poor in the U.S. is rumored to be the highest it has been since the Gilded Age (Rockefeller, Carnagie, rise of the labor unions). To see the disparity right now, click on the link below and make sure to click on the place where it says “Facts and Figures: Executive Pay and Worker Pay Worldwide.” It will have five slides, and the U.S. stats are on the last one. As you can see, the executive pay is generally 475 times the pay of the factory floor worker. http://www.pbs.org/now/politics/executive2.html

TAKE HOME MESSAGES:
There is no way to judge our tax system based purely on numbers. And here’s why.
A person making minimum wage ($6.55/hour) and working 40 hours per week makes a total of $13,624 per year assuming that they work all 52 weeks in the year and/or get paid medical leave (which is often not the case). An extra $10,000 for them would mean a huge increase (73% of their salary) in their standard of living.

According to http://www.aflcio.org/corporatewatch/paywatch/, “the chief executive of a Standard & Poor's 500 company made, on average, $14.2 million in total compensation in 2007.” A full year of work at minimum wage ($13,624) would be .09% of their yearly salary. Based on those figures, an executive would have to work less than 2 hours to make the same amount as a person working full time for minimum wage for an entire year. An extra $10,000 would mean nothing to them.

Read “Bowling Alone” by Robert Putnam for more information about pay disparity, social capital, and social responsibility. He shows how these things have changed over time.

Shouldn’t people be able to make a decent living if they put in the same 40 hours/week as everyone else? Is there any job in the world that deserves to be paid $14.2 million per year?

Alaina Pipas, MSW
I have a bachelors degree in Psychology from Washington University in St. Louis and a masters degree from SIUE. I work as a social worker in a successful program where I get to truly help my clients. I deserve to make a living wage, but I do not receive one. I pay my taxes just like everyone else, and I do not complain about them.

I welcome comments and discussion on this topic.

Mommy Dragon

I had my first confrontation with a parent today. Izaih and I walked into his classroom this morning, only to be faced with this woman going off on me for Izaih hitting her little girl. I managed to stay pretty calm. I wasn't mad at all that she talked to me about it, but it was the way she did it that about made me hit her! She acted like it was my fault, that it was something we teach him to do, and that I am a bad mother. It didn't help that on Izaih's first day, she walked up to me and said some very rude things, not realizing I was just a new mom to the class. Anyway, you know those parents that will defend their child to the death, even when the child's done something (or a lot of things) wrong? Yeah, that's one of my biggest petpeeves. I just want to give them an Enabler of the Year Award and a reality check. But today, when that mom said what she did to me, I TOTALLY felt like that enabling parent. The mean, ugly mommy dragon reared her head and blew some fire. (Any preschool onlooker would just tell you that I apologized, told her to calm down, and to quit acting like it's something we approve of or teach him at home.) I really get sick of rude, unhappy people. Next time I see this particular mother, I'm just going to treat her like I would a client. Tsk, tsk, can I give you the name of a good therapist? Or maybe I could help you with some coping skills that you obviously lack. Grrrrrr...:(