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Wednesday, December 31, 2008


So many emotions tie me up in knots when I see this picture; joyful for all the great, hilarious and meaningful times that we have spent with this little bundle of character; sadness for all the pain and suffering that such a beautiful little boy has had to endure in his first few years of life; more joy for being able to see how much he has grown just in the past year; anger that anyone could ever treat someone so small the way that he has been treated; and most of all more joy for all of the things that he has taught me about myself, about life, and about relationships. We were blessed with so many "things" at Christmas that we are all so thankful for, but nothing compares to this little guy and the gift that he has been to us.

Gosh, being a dad has turned me into to such a sap...I'm sorry...I'm done.


Now this is hilarious. Hannah got Jeff a flask for his monavie that says pimp on it. Judging from his face though, I think there might be something else in the flask...? We had Emma's family over to our place for Christmas so that Izaih could experience his first Christmas with us at his own house. It was a little tight, but we managed and had a great time. We all were blessed with so much. Gloria and Grandma made their gifts this year, and they totally rocked. Emma and I got body pillows and she made Hannah these purses that looked like she bought them at Urban Outfitters or something.

The funniest part of the whole day was when Izaih opened one of his presents from Mama G and Papa. A little background though first...we went to Searcy for Thanksgiving and we forgot one of Izaih's fleece sweatshirts. So when Jeff was packing up presents, he found the fleece and asked who it was for, thinking it was a present, and Gloria said that it was Izaih's. So Jeff wrapped it and gave it to Izaih on Christmas. Would you believe that it was Izaih's favorite present?! He begged me to help him put it on and strutted around the room like he was the coolest thing to walk the Earth. And he liked it because his Uncle Jon was wearing one just like it. That kid cracks me up.

I know I've said it already but we were so blessed this Christmas. I hope everyone kept in mind, and keeps in mind, all those out there who dont have any "things" to celebrate with on Christmas. And all of those families who just wanted their home to be heated on Christmas. Merry Chirstmas (a little late) and Happy New Year (a little early)!!






Sunday, December 21, 2008

Random Act of Kindness

Retail during the holiday season can be both fun and stressful. Today started out as a very frustrating day at work, and I was not in a good mood. Two men asked for some help finding something, and they were just soooo nice, as opposed to some of the customers we get in the store. I put something on hold for them, no big deal. When they came back to pick up their items, they brought me a Starbucks giftcard! Thank you, Nick and Ray, for making my day and for restoring my belief in mankind!!!

I LOVE kind people!!!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

We Can't WAIT for Christmas!!!!

Our tree looks bad in this picture:( Izaih "helped" wrap all the presents!



Ezra is bigger than him!!!



It was bring-your-biggest-toy day for show and share at school yesterday. Izaih took Ezra. He won:)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Parable of the Fig Tree

This is the only face he would make for the picture...whatev

I love my job. I get to meet the most random people. Today this guy came in and was like, a walking Bible!! He was telling me all these beliefs he has about the end of times and about what God has really called us to. All I could do was stand there and gawk at him. He was so incredible; I loved the way his mind worked. It's so rare to find someone who believes as radically as I feel I do sometimes. He kept telling me not to believe him, but to read it for myself and to seek and pray for Truth. He was telling me about his past with the church, and how the people and "doctrine" in it proved over and over to be so STUPID (not his words, but I won't mince them) the more he has studied his Bible and sought out Yahweh.

I get so lonely and really long for a church family. It's really sad for me. We have had the hardest time finding a church. We have friends we "commune" with, and although I don't wish to partake in organized religion, it's hard to not have it. People are always asking me, "You've been to just about every church in STL...tell me the good ones I could go to...", and I'm like, IF I KNEW THEN WE WOULD BE THERE. I'm such a post-modern thinker, though...I've been called a revolutionist. Most churches would not accept ME. HA! I could start an entirely separate blog about all my "adventures" with the church. Most of you wouldn't believe me if I told you. It's unfathomable, except to those who've lived it.

We finally got to a point where we started to regain faith in people, in followers of Christ, in churches, and then were agonizingly reminded just how horrible and hypocritical "Christians" really can be. I would love to not be bitter. I inherently have always wanted to believe that if you love Christ and proclaim to follow Him, then you must be a truly good person. I don't expect anyone to be perfect - EVER. But if you're gonna' call yourself a Christian, could you maybe act the part?

I've been toying around with the idea for years about writing a book. I hate writing. Except when I can just free associate, like here. But I do have one heck of a crazy life story to tell, and I think it's a really valuable one that people need to hear. I hesitate in saying that because I don't want to sound like I have a big ego. Absolutely the opposite. I am so broken in so many ways by so many things. Only a God that created me could understand the depths of my heart and know how to put it back together. I've been through it all (almost) and God has assured me that my purpose is to be a voice, not only to bring awareness, but to provoke action and change.

Lately I've been getting those, "You should really write a book about your life," comments (I think because I'm shedding the "good submissive Christian girl" silence and speaking up about what's really gone on), and I've been talking to God about it. I'm feeling sort of a nudging, and I am eager to determine whether it's God's nudging or my own selfish intentions. My family has been really supportive of the idea, although I think they're a little scared of what I'll say ;P OHHH, I would love to just sing like a canary!!!!!!!!!!!!! In due time, you guys, in due time.

Anyways, I always start off posts to say one thing, and then I blabber....I told y'all I'm getting better at being open and honest, right? Thanks, Doug, for challenging my thoughts today. By the way, he really wanted me to read the parable about the fig tree. Anyone have some insights into that one?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Walgreens Freebies 12/10 - 12/13

Here's the scoop on Walgreens this week. LOTS Of freebies if you have collected your coupons!

Bayer Breeze2 or Contoure Blood Glucose Meter -$14.99
-Use $30 coupon - will take off $14.99
-Rebate form inside box -$14.99
= FREE + $14.99 PROFIT


Sure Deoderant -$2.50
-$1.50 off EasySaver coupon
-Go here for $1 off coupon
= FREE


Maybelline Lip Product B1G1 Free (Buy 2)
-$4 off coupon (Use 2)
= FREE + PROFIT if you purchase ones less than $8


Scotch Tape 3 pack -2 for $2
-$1 off manu. coupon
-EasySaver Rebate #35 -$2
= FREE +$1 PROFIT


Robitussin -$3.99 (Buy 3)
-Go here for $3 off coupons
-Recieve a $5 Register Reward when you buy 3
= FREE +$2.03 PROFIT


Reynold's Wrap Aluminum Foil - $1.69
-Use in-ad coupon, making it $.99
-$1 off manu. coupon
= FREE


Arm & Hammer Liquid Detergent - $6.99 (I think)
-Use in-ad coupon making it $1.99
-Go here for $1 off coupon
=$.99 (A STEAL!!!)


Hershey's Holiday Candy - 2/$1 (Buy 2)
-Use $1 off 2 EasySaver coupon (pg. 5)
= FREE


Dove Beauty Bar
-Use in-ad coupon, making it $.99 each
-Use $1 off manu. coupon
= FREE


Bald Gyz Head Wipes - $4.99
-EasySaver Rebate #1 - $4.99
= FREE


And if these deals aren't good enough, starting tomorrow and going until Saturday, if you spend $25, you automatically receive ANOTHER $5 Register Reward! Supposedly, that's $25 BEFORE coupons, so you could make several different transactions and get several $5 RR's!!!

*And remember, whatever you wouldn't use but can get for free, PLEASE donate to a charity or good cause!!!!!!!!!! :)





Sunday, December 7, 2008

Wearing Aunt Hannah's scarf


We looked at some houses on Saturday and found one we really like. It has 4 bedrooms and 3 1/2 bathrooms. Big, classy, unique, and really quite breathtaking. It's a townhome and we have the option of buying the whole building. Still haven't decided... We did make a new friend with the squirrel that was waiting to greet us in one of the 3rd floor bedrooms. He merrily followed us all around the house!

Hannah came over to put up the Christmas tree with us yesterday and it did not go so well. We are so excited for Izaih's first Christmas with us and were really eager for him to get to put up the tree with us. However, he has reverted back to some extreme behaviors lately. Mark and I are so exhausted. We may have to quit stalling and go the meds route. Don't want to, am very against that, but we may not have a choice. My cousin put her son on meds for almost identical behaviors to Izaih and he is doing great and his behaviors have greatly diminished. It's comforting to hear stories like that, but still makes me feel like a bad mom.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

This is what I'd want to say to you if I had the chance to speak to your heart...You Are Loved

Izaih's mother signed over her rights last week, so although not "official" things will be soon. One of the caseworkers told us about her being in jail last week (on THANKSgiving, nonetheless) for domestic assault on Izaih's father. However, she was badly beaten up as well. I'm not sure why HE wasn't in prison, but personally, I'm glad she got some good hits in!

Anyways, the caseworker found her trying to walk home from jail because she doesn't have a car, money, or good enough friends or family to come pick her up. She signed over her rights in a dirty McDonald's booth. She knew she couldn't get Izaih back. I can't imagine what that must be like for her, knowing that she will not see her son again. My heart absolutely BREAKS. Out of respect for Izaih and respect for his mother, I will not divulge the details of what went on while he was in her custody, nor the struggles she is facing and life experiences that precipitated all this. I hurt so badly for her, and wish so badly that I had the power to take away her pain. It's like receiving an organ from someone who had to die to give it to you. I feel so unbelievably thankful, yet so unworthy and guilty at the same time. I feel such a deep respect and appreciation for her. She has given us the greatest gift, and while she was definitely not perfect (neither are any of us), she gave our sweet baby life. I feel no anger towards her whatsoever; only compassion and love. Deep, deep love. Izaih will not be raised hearing about how she screwed up or about all the things she did wrong. She did the best she could with what she knew and had, and she will always be loved in this home.

I beg for prayers for her right now. My heart is so heavy for her. I know one day we will face these issues head on with Izaih, but for right now, my concern goes solely to her. I have to protect Izaih, but I wish so badly that we could reach out to her and just love her up. Maybe if she had had a chance in life from the beginning. Maybe if she'd had parents who did right by her...maybe if she'd only had the compassion and love of people around her who actually gave a damn instead of sitting around on their high horses and judging her like she was trash....

While you're at it, please pray for all the mothers who have given up their parental rights or had their rights terminated. There are so many out there, and it is such a vicious cycle that many refuse to understand or have compassion for.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Thanksgiving

No, we didn't eat it. It's their PET duck.








Hopefully things with Izaih will be finalized tomorrow. Cross some fingers, say some prayers.

We headed south to Arkansas for Thanksgiving to be with my family. It honestly wasn't that bad being back in Searcy. Of course we didn't step foot on Harding campus, nor did we run into too many people from there, so maybe that had something to do with it??? We had so much fun with my family. It was so great to be there with them this year. We did lots of shopping, bonfires in the backyard, hookah smoking, Taboo with the fart-machine "buzzer", and laughing laughing laughing! We saw my mom's side of the family on Saturday, and it was so awesome to see all my aunts, uncles, and cousins who I haven't seen since we left Harding. All my little cousins have gotten so big, I could hardly believe it!!! Gosh, I am blessed with such amazing family!!!!!

Rosa-Mae enlisted for the Air Force, and we are soooo proud of her!! The average score for the entrance exam (or whatever it's called) is a 30, and Rosa-Mae scored in the 90's! She is so amazing. We all adore her, especially Izaih. Speaking of Izaih, he was a royal TERROR most of the time we were there!!! That's what happens when he has tons of people around him spoiling the heck out of him for days at a time:) My dad is a children't therapist, and I think he thought he was getting a vacation for a few days. NOPE! Izaih was like an extended-weekend-long behavior modification session, haha!!! Izaih was in heaven with a backyard to play in, a dog, a duck, and two uncles to roughhouse with the whole stay. It's really fun to watch Mark with my family, too. He is never as happy as when we're with them. It's so funny to watch him and my dad together. They are such goofballs! It makes me so happy and content with where we're at in life. I was sipping coffee after my mom's fanTAStic Thanksgiving lunch, just kind of letting my mind wander. I was remembering Thanksgivings past and what they've been like, and all of a sudden it was just the BEST coffee and the BEST day. Ever have that experience?

God has brought us so far and given us vastly more than we could ever deserve. While we grieve so many losses and afflictions this year, we also can't help but be reminded of how much he loves us - truly just LOVES us. It's so evident in everything around us. My "illness" and how He continues to work in that is proof enough. Some days we are not okay, but my friend reminded me of a song that sums it up well:

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life is meaningful
Ha la la la la la life is wonderful
Ha la la la la la life it is...so... wonderful
It is so meaningful
It is so wonderful
It is meaningful
It is wonderful
It is meaningful
It goes full circle
Wonderful
Meaningful
Full circle
Wonderful

It's all God.

Don't Go to Kmart on the Rock Rd.

First, they were out of everything I had good coupons for. There were like, NO employees working that I could ask for help. Then the cashier didn't ring up all my coupons. I kept pointing that out to her, but she kept insisting that she did. Once out of the store and in my car, I looked over the receipt and went back in. I stood in line at the customer service counter for more than half an hour. Then the manager wouldn't cooperate and kept making things up, and even kept walking away to go do other things. WHAT?! Finally, he gave me $5 back, even though he was supposed to give me $20. I was too tired to keep arguing. I was there for almost 4 hours. Absolutely not worth it. Sorry if you went and had the same experience. Next time I'm going to a different one. Pshhh.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Walgreens Freebies

Okay friends, I've got the skinny on Walgreens this week. If you haven't hoarded your coupons, that's okay for this week.

(3) Robitussin - $3.99
-Buy 3 and get $5 Register Reward (like a Walgreens giftcard)
-Go here to print out 3 $3 coupons
= FREE + $2.03 PROFIT


(2) Colgate Total Advanced Toothpaste - $2.99
-$3 off of 2 coupon found in EasySaver book (booklet found by weekly ad)
-Go here to print 2 $1.50 off coupons (on pg. 4)
= FREE


Sure Deoderant - $1.99
-$1.50 EasySaver coupon
-$1 coupon from newspaper insert
= FREE + .51 PROFIT


(2) Werther's Originals (the 5.2 oz bag) - $2.29
-B1G1 Free sale
-$1 off 2 EasySaver coupon
-Go here to print 2 $1 off coupons
= FREE + .71 PROFIT


There are some extra doorbuster deals on Fri.-Sun. to check out:


Schick Quattro Midnight -$3.99
-$3 off EasySaver coupon
-$2 off coupon (from newspaper insert)
= FREE + $1.01 PROFIT


Colgate Total Advanced Whitening Toothpaste - $3.99
-Get $3.99 in Register Rewards when you buy one
-Go here to print $1.50 off coupons (on pg. 4)
= FREE + $1.50 PROFIT


*A little tip: You can do the Register Reward deals over and over, but you cannot use a RR to buy the same thing. Example: I could not use the $3.99 RR from the toothpaste to buy more of the same (well I guess I could but it wouldn't print me out another RR)


Go here if you want to check out all the Black Friday deals at Walgreens

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Blue Like Jazz

Has anyone read this yet? I started it while I was in the hospital (that post is below), but I quickly found it impossible to read since I had IV's in both arms. So far it seems like a refreshing perspective from someone who, like me, cares nothing for religion and "church" as our society knows it. I love it that this author cares so genuinely about each person and each story that knits his or her life together. Some days I feel like I am one of few who care so deeply that way.

I have never really understood the whole "social order" expected in our society. Like, when you see someone you know at the grocery store and are supposed to approach them with a huge smile and, "Well HI!! How ARE you?" even if you hate each other. This one's my favorite...the "Well, it was GREAT to see you!" at the end of that encounter. Or when someone sends an email or facebook message to say, "Hope all is well". Have we always been so impersonal and FAKE?! Gosh, I know I've caved to that a few times, but I would much prefer to be real. Not mean or rude, just real. Like, for once maybe be able to respond to "how are you?" without people being shocked/scared when you reply with something other than the monotonous "fine, thanks".

This is one of the problems I have with modern-day "church". It's more often that not SO pretentious...and, well, SUFFOCATING!! Not to mention a total snake-pit, but that's another rant for another day ;P

Anyways, the moral of the story is...Are we being real - truly authentic - with each other? And if not,

WHY?

A little housekeeping business

Sooo, the dreaded hospital post. It's a lot; a lot, a lot, a lot. I think I will post it on facebook instead, so maybe go check over there. I can monitor who reads that a whole lot better. The thing is, I have a real problem with being cut out of people's lives, lied about, gossiped about, etc. etc. etc. and then being expected to just dish very personal info about myself out to them as if they're entitled to it. There's a lot to be said for forgiveness and unconditional love, and Mark and I are working on that daily. However, there's also something to be said for trusting the right people and allowing healthy individuals into our lives. If you are bringing negative energy to this blog, I *politely* ask you to please remove yourself and take it elsewhere. If you bring energy full of love, honesty, and good intentions, of course you are welcome anytime. Sorry to have to broadcast that to all you awesome friends and family! Anyways, moving on...

Now how's THAT for being real?! Haha...:)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Mmm...CHOCOLATE!!

Hi friends! If you remember, please say a prayer for me in the next couple days. I am going back into the hospital and am not looking forward to it. It was not the "no big deal" that I tried to make it the last time, and this time is supposed to be much worse. Everything will be fine; I am just having some anxiety. Hopefully no more of this until after the holidays.

In the spirit of keeping things light, I have a funny story! Last night around 2:30 in the morning, I heard those familiar pitter-patters echoing through the hall. Izaih usually crawls into bed with us around that time every night, so I waited for him to curl up with us. But he didn't come. After a few moments, I got up to find him. He was sitting up in his bed with a tub of Betty Crocker Chocolate icing, just going to town! I was so speechless!! He didn't even stop once he saw me, he just started eating it faster:D By the time I wrangled it away from him, he looked like a chocolate-faced clown! During the day, this would have come as no surprise, but in the middle of the night?!?! Such a little stinker!!! He takes after his mamma so much!:) I stinkin love it!!!!! :D

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Walgreens Freebies

Here's the Walgreens scoop this week. Don't forget to save up all your $2 coupons for Douple Coupon Days at Kmart, which starts the week of Nov. 30.

WALGREENS

Just For Men Touch of Gray- $7
-Buy 1 and get $7 in Register Rewards (like a Walgreens giftcard to be used on next purchase)
-Go here to register and receive a $2 off coupon (if you keep hitting the back button, you can print it several times)
-Go here to print a full rebate form to send in
=FREE + $9 profit


Suave haircare - some on sale for $1.13
-Buy 4 and get $3 Register Reward
-Use (2) $.75 off of 2 coupon (from newspaper insert)
=$.02 for 4 bottles (almost FREE)


Loreal Age Perfect Pro Calcium Radiance Perfector - $19.99
-Easy Saver Rebate #1 (found in booklet by weekly ads at front of store) - $19.99
-Use $2 off coupon (from newspaper insert)
=FREE + $2 profit


Almay One Coat Mascara - $6.99
-Easy Saver Rebate #2 - $6.99
-Use $2 off coupon (from Kmart beauty book, found at customer service counter)
=FREE + $2 profit

I'm debating on whether or not to do the Wal-Mart deals (only the free ones, of course, which there are a LOT of) each week. I have a major ethical problem with that company for SOOOOOO many reasons (PLUG: Watch Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price). HOWEVER, if I'm giving away all the loot I get from there to charities and good causes anyways, is it okay for me to do it each week??? Is it still being unethical of me? I'd love some feedback, puh-LEASE! :)






Saturday, November 15, 2008

Hotbox

Anyone ever heard of a "hotbox"? Apparently it's a new form of cruel and unusual punishment they make you go through when you're in the hospital. I've been there for the past couple of days, and they kept making me stick my hand in this hot box. So weird. They kept putting it in, then pulling it out, putting it in, then pulling it out. All while there are IV's sticking out of both arms, mind you. It was some pretty miserable stuff. Next week's supposed to be even worse. Booooo:( My nurses were so great. I shared a room with a nun for a little bit. Once I was up to talking, though, she just kind of vanished. I wish she had taken me with her.

When Mark and I got married, we wished so badly that our friends would get married so they'd start to hang out with us again. Single folk are scared of the marrieds for some reason. I don't know. It's like people thought Mark and I had to be together at all times. Uh, no. We're still fun!!! Anyways, finally our friends started getting married, and now lots of them are having kids. Lately, though, lots of them have been divorcing. It's so weird. I don't like it. I never really thought about that happening. I mean, I know the stats, but it never occurred to me that OUR friends would be among those. No judgment whatsoever, REALLY, but I've gotta say that it's just really uncomfortable for me. I can't imagine there ever being anything that Mark and I couldn't work through. Again, no judgment. Marriage is CRAZY hard work, even when the two are selfless, easy-to-get-along-with individuals. I can't imagine what it would be like if there were really huge issues in a marriage that needed to be worked through. Don't know if I could do it myself.

Izaih has been calling us Miss Mommy and Mr. Daddy lately. It is so stinkin cute!!! He's so excited about Thanksgiving, as am I!! He's going to be in heaven with my parents, brothers, their dogs, duck, and backyard to play with for 5 days. My family adores him and spoils him rotten.

Sorry my posts are so boring. Ironically, once we started the blog about our "adventures", we sort of stopped having them! Hmmm.... ;D

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Being quiet to listen

Don't worry, I'm done talking politics. It makes me so tired and overwhelmed to try to convince people of their bigotries. I'm sure people get tired of trying to convince me of my ignorance! LOL I think I will be sticking to debates over what I'm an expert on from now on.

*Cue Crickets*

I feel convicted to LISTEN instead of talk talk talk lately. Honestly, no one cares what I have to say. They care about my actions, and honestly, sometimes the two just don't mesh well. I need to work harder at living out my convictions, not just talking about them. Hold me to it.

Love and peace!!!!! YEAH!!!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

United We Stand, Divided We Fall

Who else cried when Obama made his acceptance speech? The fact that a black man could be the president of our country makes me sooo proud and so emotional. I don't agree with everything he plans to do, nor all his ideologies, but I do believe it is about time for the African American population to be represented. I am saddened by all the conservative bigotry and comments made recently. Not to point fingers, but most of the ignorant, racist comments I've heard lately have come from the middle to upper white class. Tack on "christian" to that as well.

I don't claim to know it all, and I'm pretty sure I'm actually very ignorant, especially when it comes to politics. But if I have to hear another comment about taxes and how it is just encouraging people to be lazy and not get jobs, I think I might spit. Until you understand the cycle of poverty, what it's like to be a single mother working 3 jobs just to try to make ends meet, have grown up without good role models, good schools, or anyone in your life who will root for you to succeed, you have no business complaining. I have no problem working 4 out of the 12 months a year to give my money back in taxes to social programs. Honestly, if I wasn't taxed, most of that money would be going to good causes anyway. Yes, it would be nice if government didn't have to tax us because everyone took responsibility to not only give that much of their money, but to also take responsibility of our social ills and devote time and work to help support them. But that's not the case. Americans, as a whole, are greedy and selfish. Definitely not all of them, but you know the ones. Even us good ones are still greedy and selfish. It's time for us to admit that. It's time for us to work together and make sacrifices TOGETHER so that no child will ever go hungry at home alone, so that no more children will have to join gangs or sell drugs because that's the only job they can get, and no more single mothers will have to pimp themselves out in order to put food on their table. Things like this go on every day in thousands of families and neighborhoods in Missouri alone. Yet we forget that it is us, the white middle and upper class who have so many times furthered this problem. We spend our money on video games, brand new SUVS, lavish vacations, and nice homes in the county, working hard to not ever have to come into contact with "what goes on in the city" and the reality of the horror so many have to face. We pray in our nice, air-conditioned church buildings, littered with flat screen T.V.'s and equipped with multi-thousand dollar sound systems, for the poor and the hurting, and we act like we care. Sometimes we even "help out" once or twice a year, daring to go into the city to do a service project with our church. Then we drive back home, thanking God we are safe and that we will never have to know what so many of these people we just encountered have to live through daily.

Nevermind selling all that we have to give to the poor. Nevermind bearing each other's burdens together. Nevermind denying yourself one lousy vacation or saving $18,000 per year by sending your kids to public school instead of the rediculously priced (and not even nearly as good) private one so that you can contribute more to the causes that so often get overlooked. Nevermind serving "the least of these" or even trying to understand where they are coming from...

Anyways, kinda got off on a tangent:) Just sayin - I'm glad there will finally be a change, even if it is not drastic, even if it is not in agreement with all my morals and convictions (cause McCain's definitely weren't, either). I hope people can put aside their racial assumptions and bigotries. I hope America can embrace Obama, and all work together to be a catalyst for change.

P.S. I'm an Idealist, if you couldn't tell.

Monday, November 3, 2008

My Turn...


I am a terrible blogger. I always tell Emma that I'm gonna blog, but I either forget to or I can never think of anything good to write about. Today, however, I didn't forget and I have a lot to update everyone on. Emma mentioned briefly about Izaih's tooth being pulled. He took it like a champ; I was more worried about it than he was (I guess that's part of parenthood). He didn't complain once about it hurting after it was taken out. He did cry for a good 20 minutes though when he looked in the mirror and realized his tooth was gone. And the best part, just when I thought he couldn't get any cuter (or cooler as he would say), he looks so much more adorable than he did before with only one tooth missing. And now it sounds like he has a lisp!! Now about the pictures; in case you couldnt figure it out he was a red power ranger for halloween. And I couldnt believe it, but we actually got to hang out with not only Marilyn Monroe on Halloween, but Gumby too!! All joking aside, yesterday was one of the most fantastic days we have had. We went to forest park and had a picnic right in front of the paddle boat pond with the worlds fair pavilion behind us. I love St. Louis!! The weather could not have been more perfect for us. The best part was just being able to get out of the house and put all of our daily stress behind us and just enjoy eachother. I am so blessed. I have a gorgeous wife that is madly in love with me, a little boy that has brought more joy to life than I ever thought a child could (which says a lot because every kids brings joy to my life). I realized yesterday too how well the three of us just fit together. I cant put it into words but it just seems like we have become so in sync with eachother that when one of us isnt at 100%, the other two make up for it. Whenever Emma or I am having a bad day, Izaih will love on us and cuddle, which he rarely does, and says sweet things like, "I'll keep you safe miss Emma" or "your my best girl" or "your my bestest friend." Things like that make all the tantrums, all the batteries thrown in my face, all the feces on the walls and every other headache that we've been through so worth it. I cant thank God enough for bringing this little guy into our lives and I can only hope that we have and will influence and change him as much as he has influenced and changed us.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Please Be Kind

Izaih got his tooth out! He did so well, too! He was very excited that it didn't hurt anymore. As soon as we got home and he looked in the mirror, though, he sobbed like a baby about how he wants his tooth back:( Poor baby.

He told me he wants a brother for Christmas. It made me sad all over again. I've been toying with whether or not to make the story "public", especially with the insensitivity of some who may read this blog. HOWEVER, this is MY blog and I feel it's important to say things, even hard things. It's therapeutic for me, and good for people to realize they are not alone if they've struggled with something similar. A few weeks ago I watched the “cardboard testimonies” on a friend’s page. If you haven’t heard of them, I highly recommend that you watch them on youtube. I have been thinking about it since, and contemplating what my testimony would say. There are so many things, so many stories, so much ugliness to my life. The only thing that could fit to sum it up would say “DISASTER”. Or maybe “SHAME”. I’ve had some time to think since having this newfound free time. I’ve had time to grieve things that I pushed away for so long. I've been working really hard to be open, honest, and transparent.

When I watched the cardboard testimonies, there were so many things others were dealing with that I too, have dealt with or am dealing with now. Some of those things are things I have not shared, and have barely admitted to myself. Yet these people not only had the courage to share it, but they also shared how God brought them through it. It is so hard for me to share. At times I would rather just be completely misunderstood than to make myself that vulnerable to people’s judgment. At least then people’s judgment would be based on what they thought I was rather than on the truth of what I really am.

I guess what my cardboard would say right now is “Grief over loss of child.” The long version would go like this:

Right now I should be holding a beautiful baby in my arms. It had been a very long couple of months for us. As usual, I had a crazy schedule and Mark and I had our hands in a lot of different things. We had been struggling with some really hard things for a long time, and things were finally looking up. However, we also felt convicted to make some really hard decisions about some things we we were involved with, which led to drama....lots and lots of drama. We were drained. We had just decided to bring Izaih into our home, and were trying to work out all the details.

That night I was pregnant, hormonal, and bored…a bad combination. I sat down to fill out a survey, the kind that everyone sends you on facebook and myspace. This particular time the survey rules were to write down 25 things that you wish you could say to someone but can’t. Normally, I say whatever needs to be said straight to a person’s face. But sometimes I don’t, and SHOULDN’T. That night, however, I was feeling feisty and very sick from the morning sickness (although it was not morning), which only fueled my irrationality. I wrote down the 25 things, some being very nice, some of them coming clean from secrets I’d kept, some random thoughts, and a few things that were either downright nasty or would have hurt someone had they known it was being said about them.

My siblings and close friends tease me for being blunt and honest, and for speaking up about things that people are uncomfortable with. So I tagged them in the facebook note, thinking they would get a kick out of my honesty. Then I thought I would tag the people I had written nice things about. After that, I thought I’d be really gutsy and tag the people in whom my secret confession comments were for. I went back and counted….1,2,3….27 people were tagged. Perfect! Now no one would know whether one of the 25 comments was for them or not, and they would be freaking out trying to figure out which one was for them. I went back and changed some of the wording so that some of the comments would be very vague. “You are one of the most beautiful people I know,” and “Sometimes I feel like you’re being selfish”, could not be traced to anyone. I just KNEW my friends would think it was hilarious and think it genius!! Since the people I wrote some of the meaner, or more bold comments for were not on facebook, or were not my friend on facebook, I thought it was the perfect way to get those things off my chest without actually saying it to the people or anyone else knowing who I was talking about. Therapeutic, I thought. I couldn’t wait to have everyone stumped on which comment they thought was meant for them. Surely they would all think the nicest one was about them. I thought it was soooo funny.

Looking back, that was not funny at all. That was irrational. That was me being moody and pregnant and not thinking very clearly. Not that that makes it okay, but my thought process was a bit out of whack on that idea. I had NO idea that anyone could get their feelings hurt or assume I wrote something mean about them. After all, I thought, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to tag someone I wrote something mean about.

Well people did get their feelings hurt. They assumed that comments made for someone else (who weren’t even on facebook and therefore would never know I said it, and no one else would know who it was said about) were actually for them. Obviously. Horrible things were said to me, and hurtful judgments from people ensued. Some of the most hurtful things you can imagine were said and gossiped to others. I was initially very angry that my genius, fun little game was misconstrued. I had no idea what to say or do to fix it. I took the note off of facebook, and I tried apologizing repeatedly, only to be talked down to and chastised again and again. I found out about people going and “enlightening others” on what I had said about them on facebook. How do you know who I said that about?! How come you’re telling everyone about my mistake (and adding your own exaggerations to it), making everyone else mad at me after I’ve apologized over and over?! I was so upset and overwhelmed that I was literally sick. I HATE making anyone mad at me or hurting anyone’s feelings. I couldn’t sleep, and I was unbelievably upset at a few people who kept calling to go off on me. I was so stressed out over it, and certain people were antagonizing the situation for all it was worth. Then I had the miscarriage.

I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. It was all just too overwhelming. My friends said, “It’s just your body’s way of telling you you’re not ready for a child right now,” or “Your body can’t handle all that stress without something giving somewhere.” I tried my best to forget about the baby, and looked at it as just something that didn’t work out. I knew that eventually the grief would catch up to me, and it did. The anger was what I didn’t expect. No matter what the reason for the miscarriage was, I have deep down blamed the people who caused me the most stress, and ultimately myself.

Now I feel the full weight (at least I hope this is the full weight…I can’t bear any more…) of my grief over this tiny person that will never be. Some nights I dream of our baby and can see her sweet little face….I just know that she would be perfect. Some mornings I imagine what her cry would sound like, and wonder if she would have Mark’s smile. I never could bear to name her. No name could adequately describe how sweetly her voice would sound, or how much her daddy would have adored her. How many lives would she have touched? What was she supposed to be?

We will never know.


Grief over loss of child……Living with hope until reunited.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Oh Life, How I Love You

Me and the hottest man around

Weirdos

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and sweet. Met with doctors yesterday to discuss treatment. Had to do the yucky MRI, EKG, and get lots of bloodwork done, but everything looks good, they say. I was so tired and went to bed at 6:00 last night...I think that's a record!! Izaih crawled in bed with me and loved on me for a while. He said, "Mommy, you're my best girl." He is such a precious little angel! I have to stay in the hospital for several nights in the next few weeks, and will be having several biopsies done. Booo:( I'm thinking about taking up meditation. Like the serious kind. But seriously, I am FINE. FIIIIIIIIIIINNNNE. I am excited about the whole thing, I really am! I'm going to be in the gym 6 times a week, heck YES!!!!! Time to get healthy!!!!! No more fear, no more walls....I'm back and I'm feistier than ever!!! So BRING IT!!!!

ANNNND enough about that. We had a GREAT weekend and just got to have fun with friends and forget everything, which was nice. Izaih has had a bad toothache since Sunday, poor baby. His dentist has not been in this week and would not see him, so we took him to a clinic yesterday. He has been up every night just crying and crying and crying. He cries and cries for Daddy and it is so sweet, albeit so very pitiful! He is definitely a Daddy's boy. He won't let me put Orajel on him because he hates how it numbs his sweet little tongue. :( The clinic says his tooth is abscessed and has to come out immediately. His other front tooth was abscessed and pulled before he came to us, so now he's going to have 2 missing front teeth! Hopefully we can find someone to take it out today so he doesn't have to miss out on all the Halloween festivites this weekend.

Let's see...what other news is there? I spent $13 at Kmart on over $100 worth of stuff. I would have only spent $2, but I messed up with the coupons. It's all very tricky. I've made about $100 this month getting free stuff. I probably got about $400-$500 in free loot also. I need to start keeping count, but I am horrible at math and it is all very complicated to me. The cashiers at my closest Walgreens think my "game" is hilarious. They love to gather around and see how many transactions I will make and how much I will save each time I come into the store. I love being able to donate everything; giving is what gives me meaning in life. I think I will start giving it to the domestic violence agencies/shelters. Talk about an underserved population! Give me another day to rant about that, I have to take Izaih to the dentist now.

BEFORE the tooth is pulled

The Sweetest Little Face You Ever Saw


Monday, October 20, 2008

For those who've heard the rumor....

I didn't want to make a big broadcast via blogger, but I'm so very tired and am in desperate need of sleep. Yes, it is true about my "medical condition". HOWEVER, we are fine and I am coping. All is good. I had my first official freak-out today and I have told myself that I WILL get over it before I wake up in the morning. No big deal. Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, concerns, phone calls, etc. etc. etc. I don't really want to blast all the info out there for just anyone to read, but I will get back with each one of you...PROMISE!!:) I just need time to digest it all myself. I'm also feeling kind of private about it...yes, that's a first! I meet with the team of doctors next week to discuss treatment, and from then on it will all be fine. In a lot of ways, the diagnosis is truly a good thing. I love life!!!!! Even all the crap that comes with it :) Sorry for being vague...most of you already know anyways. Kisses to everyone!

Friday, October 17, 2008

God's Politics



We all went to the Blues game last night. It was much more fun than I thought it would be. Izaih kept yelling, "GO blue ones!!!" So cute:)

I'm loving my job! Can I even call it a job? It's too much fun!

The presidential election is eating away at us right now. For the first time during an election, I am actually really educated, and it makes me crazy. I wish I wasn't. Ignorance is bliss, it truly is. I don't find that being a Social Worker and a Christian makes me feel torn between the two parties like I've been told by others. It just makes me ashamed at those who have no sense of compassion or empathy and truly believe our country should operate under the dog-eat-dog form of government. Call me a socialist, but I just don't understand how someone with millions of dollars would even NOTICE a few thousand of those dollars missing to help the suffering have a chance to actually MAKE IT in life. I have a feeling I might know what Jesus would have to say about that. And when did God decide that the U.S. is a "city on a hill"??? I believe that phrase was directed towards Christians way back in the day. And I gotta say, we are looking more like bullies than loving, compassionate, Christlike peacemakers. BOOO on the U.S. I'm moving to Canada.









Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Growing up so fast

Izaih with Auntie Kristen and Katie @ the game last weekend
Mark was sick yesterday, so I was explaining to Izaih, while on the way home, that we would need to let Mark rest. Izaih yelled, "NOO!!!!!! I don't WANT to leave him alone!!!!!!" in his super angry tone. Then he very sweetly added, "I want to go love on him." Ahhh:)

Every day he asks if he can be a grown-up yet, and every day he gets very frustrated when I tell him, "not yet". He is VERY adament that he is NOT a kid, and that he can TOO be a grown-up!! It doesn't matter how much we try to convince him that it's so much funner being a kid, he insists that we are lying:) Don't most kids normally enter this stage around age 12???

He has also entered the 4-year-old stage of asking "why?" after every single thing we say. I love that he is so eager to learn. He is such a little doll!!

Mark and I visited some schools we're looking at putting him in for Kindergarten. So far we're not totally sure, but are thinking a Performing Arts School might be a great outlet for him. He has so much natural talent, and I think he would really thrive in that artsy type of environment.
One of the schools we really liked was PreK-2nd grade, but would you believe they have an ISS room there?!?! What in the world?! Big turnoff.

By the way, I think I mentioned in a previous post about the thaumaturge randomly telling a friend that Izaih has a certain, totally random, medical condition (he's never even met Izaih, and neither has the friend). We took Izaih to get it checked out, and - WHATAYA KNOW - he was right!! Umm, CRAZY! And so stinkin hilarious!!! Bad news is he may have to have surgery:(

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Thanksgiving (a month and a half early)


We are LOVING the weather lately; it is so GLORIOUS! It puts me in a such a great mood! Sometimes I just have to pinch myself. I have the most amazing life partner, little boy, family, friends, and .... LIFE! I hate to sound sappy, but it brings tears to my eyes when I think of all the ways God has truly blessed us. When I think back to the past few years and what it has been like, I am agonizingly reminded of the horror and pain of it all. I never would have dreamed of being in the place I am in now, let alone happy in it. My God has given me more strength than I thought possible, and has delivered me when it was just too much. He has truly turned my ashes into beauty, and I no longer live with the fear and shame that so devastatingly consumed me for so long. I am no longer silenced, nor am I consumed with anger for those who tried to keep me that way. Mark and I have been released of the oppression of religion and of those who wished to bring us harm. Once again, Satan's attempts at destroying us have made us stronger in our love for each other and stronger in our faith. God continues to show himself to us through the sweet faces of the children we work with, our neighbors, the homeless people we encounter almost daily, the endless support and encouragement of countless people in our lives, the vigilant efforts of those around us who work towards love and social justice, and even something as simple as a song or smile.

Then there is Izaih. The way he has changed since being with us has been nothing short of a miracle. You will often find us frustrated and frazzled, but during the quiet moments we are reminded of God's great love for him; plans to take care of him and restore what was taken from him. The fight between good and evil is very much a reality for him, and one that he no doubt fights ceaselessly. His sweet smile and "I love you" are enough to melt me into a pool of joy and contentedness. The fact that he has attached to us at all and let us into his sweet, fragile little heart is proof enough to me of God's love for all three of us. Looking back, we see where Satan tried so hard to sabotage us and Izaih's life together. It is humbling to realize that nothing we could have done, but only God could take so many fears, losses, and failures to prepare us to be the people He would use in Izaih's life. I am awed and forever grateful for Him allowing it to be us.

I love this hottie right here!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Not Again

The car got broken into last night. Booooo:( They got away with our GPS. I hope they like it - I sure did!! They got our neighbor's car, too. They must be really good at what they do because I had our windows open, I sleep against the window, and I never heard a thing! Our alarms didn't even go off!! This makes the second time this year. Oh well. This gives me a great excuse to roll the windows down; it's beautiful outside!!! I love Fall!!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

YAY for weekends!!!!

Wasn't the debate awesome?! Palin charmed the pants off America, but could she answer a single question? NOPE. And Biden did such a great job of defending his position in an honest, respectful way. I was so afraid the conservatives were going to try to make him out to be a chauvinist just because he did better than Palin. Poor McCain...he seems like such a sweet man, trying to do the right thing. If Palin didn't lie so much I would probably really like her, too. So what if she tried to fire her brother-in-law? I mean, if he really was driving drunk and abusing his children, she kind of has a basis to. It's when she tries to lie about it, cover it up, and act all shady that makes me lose respect for her. I know she's just trying to protect herself, but that shows a complete lack of integrity. Plus she's lied about all sorts of other stuff. Come ON! ANYONE left around here with integrity PLEASE stand up!!!!!!!! lol

The mean mom who yelled at me got in trouble. Her child had to be moved to another classroom and the mom got put on probation. The school has no tolerance for disrespect from anyone, apparently. I didn't even have to do anything. Izaih's teacher talked to the director about it, and the director called me. I feel really bad for her little girl that she has to suffer for her mom's actions. Izaih shouldn't have hit her, either, and he definitely got consequences for it. Ugh, I hate being at odds with people.

Busy weekend. Dinner with friends tonight, party after that, work tomorrow, and then dinner with friends after that. One of our best friends is in town for the weekend with his amazing fiance. We LOVE her!! Almost more than him, hehe, Bryan, don't get mad ;) Plus one of my besties is in town for almost an entire week!! I am elated!!!! I miss her soooooo much, even though we talk all the time. YAY for weekends!!!!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Barstool Economics

We are holed up in the house due to the Presidential Debates going on practically in our backyard. We can't really go anywhere. Everywhere around us is blocked off! I can't wait to watch tonight!! GO BIDEN!!!! I am partially watching for entertainment purposes, if I'm going to be honest. I can't wait to see Sarah Palin squirm, and am anticipating some comical moments!!

My friend, Alaina, has written something GENIUS pertaining to the United States tax situation that is a must read! She perfectly sums up what so many of us have tried 100 ways to say. It's long, but TOTALLY worth your time......

If only our Politicians could speak in terms the average citizen could understand.


Our Tax System Explained: Bar Stool Economics

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.

The fifth would pay $1.

The sixth would pay $3.

The seventh would pay $7.

The eighth would pay $12.

The ninth would pay $18.

The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.


So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed
quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

'Since you are all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.' Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his
Fair share? They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should
pay.

And
so:


The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).

The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).

The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, but he got $10!'

'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man.

'I only saved a
dollar, TOO. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I got.'
'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man.

'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!'

'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time
To pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!


And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being
wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact,they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.


David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia

For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.


MY RESPONSE:
Hmmm... I think that this would make perfect sense if we got beer for our tax dollars. However, that's not what our taxes pay for. We pay for things that are WAY more important than beer. We use taxes to pay for the military, healthcare, social security, parks, education, etc. And this example misses the disparities that exist in this system. Just a few examples:

I know a teenager who needed residential mental health treatment. The closest place who would take their military benefits to get treatment is five hours away. That is actually a better situation that the first four people would be in. The situation of the fifth, sixth, and seventh would probably have two options. Option 1: a closer treatment facility (where they can visit their child in the residential facility – very important to their success upon release) where the child would not be allowed to stay for long enough to get effective treatment. Option 2: a facility farther away (where they would rarely be able to visit) where they would stay longer – possibly even long enough to have some real success. The eighth, ninth, and tenth people would all have the finances to actually pay for a place that would be close enough where they could visit (and work on the family problems that contributed to the child being in residential) AND the child would be able to stay long enough for effective treatment. This is an example of individual disparity.

Yes, the poorest people get Medicaid and the oldest get Medicare. Medicare seems to be working out pretty well, but Medicaid does not. I know a lot of people who have children with special needs and cannot find a dentist that will accept Medicaid anywhere nearby. I've heard of people driving three hours away to go to the dentist. Which, with gas being so expensive, is very hard to do. Sometimes this comes out of food money. Sometimes people have to borrow it from family or friends. This is the situation that the first four people are in. The next level of people are ones that work but may or may not get benefits like healthcare. They go to the emergency room for things like the flu because they cannot afford health insurance. If you are poor in the U.S., you will receive the 16th best healthcare in the world (behind all of the other top nations). If you are wealthy, you will receive the best. This is the difference between life and death, because the less wealthy do not receive preventative treatment, and the people with no health insurance are merely STABILIZED, NOT NECESSARILY TREATED before being sent out of the hospital. Hospitals in poorer areas have less patients who have health insurance, so they are worried about cutting costs. They have a choice between treating all of their patients as well as possible (which would cause them to go broke and shut down) or help some of them less than others (in order to meet costs). This is a systemic problem for those in poor areas that the rest of us don’t have to deal with. We just have to pay for it. And believe me, health care providers resent having to make this choice – they took an oath to save lives and want to be able to do it.

Another perfect example of why the beer analogy is just false: their living environment. The first four people would probably be living in a poor neighborhood. These neighborhoods are usually far more dangerous and do not have strong police forces to keep crime under control. Since a lot of education funding comes from local taxes, the students in the poor neighborhoods are also attending schools that are more dangerous, have less resources, and newer and inexperienced teachers. Poorer neighborhoods also have more traumatized kids because of all the violence and crime they have lived through and witnessed. They often have anger management problems and their anger can be triggered by anything. They are also much less likely to receive counseling for their problems because they have to rely on free programs (which have very long wait lists because of a lack of funding).

The people with more money (who can afford to pay more beer in the analogy) can pay for a better house, a better neighborhood, and a better school. And they do.

I give these examples to make several points. This analogy – while maybe accurate on paper – has no bearing on reality whatsoever.

1. There is no way to compare the quality of life to beer like the tax analogy does. Beer is optional, but taxes help pay for the necessities of life.

2. There is no way that person #1 would be going to the same bar as person #10. Person #10 would be going to a very nice, clean, safe bar which would charge higher prices. Person #5 would probably be waiting on them, and person #1 would be in the unemployment line (sometimes because person #10 just sent their job overseas to increase profits).

3. Person #10 is probably the owner of a company or very prominent. He or she could raise the salaries of the people working there which would eliminate a lot of this disparity from the bottom up.

4. Everyone deserves to be paid a living wage. And if they were, they could afford to contribute more to society.

5. If CEOs ruin their companies through bad decision making, they leave with millions of dollars in severance pay because they had good lawyers to write it into their contracts. Anyone else would be fired with no severance package.

6. If wealthy people make huge amounts of money and then publicly oppose raising the minimum wage to $6 or $7 an hour for their employees (a living wage is estimated to be somewhere around $14 an hour although that varies by location), then I say they SHOULD leave our country. There are literally tens of thousands of Wal-Mart employees alone who are receiving public aid, Medicaid, and food stamps because their salaries are so low that they still qualify. And where does the money to support them come from? The rest of us.

7. As someone making above minimum wage but below a living wage, I have no pity for wealthier people paying higher taxes. Raise my pay, I will pay more taxes, and yours can be lowered. Until then, stop complaining.

8. Also, the wealthiest people do not pay as much taxes as the people working under them. Hear what Warren Buffet has to say about this – he compares his own taxes to his employees. He has offered $1 million for charity for every major CEO that could show that they pay a higher percentage of taxes than their secretaries, and there have been no takers so far. So actually, using the bar example, the richest person would probably really be #9, and #10 would be his/her secretary. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu5B-2LoC4s

9. The income gap between the rich and poor in the U.S. is rumored to be the highest it has been since the Gilded Age (Rockefeller, Carnagie, rise of the labor unions). To see the disparity right now, click on the link below and make sure to click on the place where it says “Facts and Figures: Executive Pay and Worker Pay Worldwide.” It will have five slides, and the U.S. stats are on the last one. As you can see, the executive pay is generally 475 times the pay of the factory floor worker. http://www.pbs.org/now/politics/executive2.html

TAKE HOME MESSAGES:
There is no way to judge our tax system based purely on numbers. And here’s why.
A person making minimum wage ($6.55/hour) and working 40 hours per week makes a total of $13,624 per year assuming that they work all 52 weeks in the year and/or get paid medical leave (which is often not the case). An extra $10,000 for them would mean a huge increase (73% of their salary) in their standard of living.

According to http://www.aflcio.org/corporatewatch/paywatch/, “the chief executive of a Standard & Poor's 500 company made, on average, $14.2 million in total compensation in 2007.” A full year of work at minimum wage ($13,624) would be .09% of their yearly salary. Based on those figures, an executive would have to work less than 2 hours to make the same amount as a person working full time for minimum wage for an entire year. An extra $10,000 would mean nothing to them.

Read “Bowling Alone” by Robert Putnam for more information about pay disparity, social capital, and social responsibility. He shows how these things have changed over time.

Shouldn’t people be able to make a decent living if they put in the same 40 hours/week as everyone else? Is there any job in the world that deserves to be paid $14.2 million per year?

Alaina Pipas, MSW
I have a bachelors degree in Psychology from Washington University in St. Louis and a masters degree from SIUE. I work as a social worker in a successful program where I get to truly help my clients. I deserve to make a living wage, but I do not receive one. I pay my taxes just like everyone else, and I do not complain about them.

I welcome comments and discussion on this topic.

Mommy Dragon

I had my first confrontation with a parent today. Izaih and I walked into his classroom this morning, only to be faced with this woman going off on me for Izaih hitting her little girl. I managed to stay pretty calm. I wasn't mad at all that she talked to me about it, but it was the way she did it that about made me hit her! She acted like it was my fault, that it was something we teach him to do, and that I am a bad mother. It didn't help that on Izaih's first day, she walked up to me and said some very rude things, not realizing I was just a new mom to the class. Anyway, you know those parents that will defend their child to the death, even when the child's done something (or a lot of things) wrong? Yeah, that's one of my biggest petpeeves. I just want to give them an Enabler of the Year Award and a reality check. But today, when that mom said what she did to me, I TOTALLY felt like that enabling parent. The mean, ugly mommy dragon reared her head and blew some fire. (Any preschool onlooker would just tell you that I apologized, told her to calm down, and to quit acting like it's something we approve of or teach him at home.) I really get sick of rude, unhappy people. Next time I see this particular mother, I'm just going to treat her like I would a client. Tsk, tsk, can I give you the name of a good therapist? Or maybe I could help you with some coping skills that you obviously lack. Grrrrrr...:(